25 Chat Up Lines and Ways to Respond

Hello Angels!

It has been a minute, but I’ve returned JUST in time for the day of the year I hate the most: the day where you tell your loved one you love them before you go back to being grumpy and freely rude to them because who is actually in a bubble of love? That’s right, you guessed it: Valentines day.

So, instead of creating a valentines look or something along those lines, I thought I’d be true to the real Nia and make a post of TERRIBLE chat up lines which will either get you a date because of how funny they are, or a drink thrown in your face. You’re welcome Angels: I’m the true wing woman. BUT as a twist, I thought if I can, I’ll give you a response for them, in case they’re used on you.

  1. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
    REPLY: No, but it hurt while I was crawling out of hell.
  2. On a scale of 1- America how free are you tonight?
    REPLY: North Korea
    ALTERNATE REPLY: Donald Trump’s Presidency
  3. Have you ever said ‘Fuck the Police?’ Because now’s your chance…
    *REPLY: There is no reply to this, this is 100% my favourite chat up line.*
  4. Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I please borrow yours?
    REPLY: *Give them a fake phone number*
  5. You must be from Tennessee! Because you are the only TEN I see!
    REPLY: Are you? Because you’re a state
  6. I’m sorry, I’m an artist and it’s my job to stare at beautiful women!
    REPLY: Well thank God because you’re not allowed to touch the art
  7. Hi, will you reject me if I try and pick you up?
    REPLY: Yes.
  8. What’s your favorite silverware?..because I like to spoon!
    REPLY: I kinda like knives.
  9. Save a horse, ride a cowboy.
    REPLY: I’ll get the bus, thanks.
  10. You better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!
    REPLY: Same to you because you’re driving me away!
  11. I’m addicted to yes, and I’m deathly allergic to no. So what’s it gonna be?
    REPLY: I’m gonna say a firm no.
  12. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
    REPLY: You could walk past me to a person that’d work on?
  13. Crap. Something is wrong with my mobile…your numbers not in it.
    REPLY: I haven’t got yours and mines doing fine so, no?
  14. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.
    REPLY: I like it the way it is because N and O are together.
  15. People call me *INSERT NAME*, but you can call me Tonight!
    REPLY: I’d rather call you Never.
  16. Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
    REPLY: No sorry, that’s too small to be counted as a package
  17. I must be in heaven because I’m looking at an angel!
    REPLY: I must be in hell because this is torture
  18. Is your name Daniel? Cause DAMN!
    REPLY: Is yours? Because you’re at it again with the crap pickup lines.
  19. I love you as much as Kanye loves Kanye.
    REPLY: I love you as much as the decent half of America love Trump.
  20. If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask you to be your default browser, I’m brave enough to ask you out!
    REPLY: I picked Firefox.
  21. Are you religious? Cause you’re the answer to all my prayers.
    REPLY: Oh, are you a Satanist?
  22. Your body is 75% water, and I’m thirsty.
    REPLY: Then you’re gonna dehydrate

  23. Excuse me, but I think I dropped something. MY JAW!
    REPLY: Sadly, I’ve not dropped my standards.
  24. What has 36 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
    REPLY: What, it’s holding back something green with a rare disease?

  25. I’ll treat you like my homework: Slam you on the table and do you all night long!
    REPLY: I’m gonna treat you like mine: walk away and ignore you.

I hope this at least made you laugh- if you use any of these or any of the replies, let me know how it goes for you.

Stay safe and stay happy, Angels ❤


One Reply to “25 Chat Up Lines and Ways to Respond”

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