25 Chat Up Lines and Ways to Respond

Hello Angels!

It has been a minute, but I’ve returned JUST in time for the day of the year I hate the most: the day where you tell your loved one you love them before you go back to being grumpy and freely rude to them because who is actually in a bubble of love? That’s right, you guessed it: Valentines day.

So, instead of creating a valentines look or something along those lines, I thought I’d be true to the real Nia and make a post of TERRIBLE chat up lines which will either get you a date because of how funny they are, or a drink thrown in your face. You’re welcome Angels: I’m the true wing woman. BUT as a twist, I thought if I can, I’ll give you a response for them, in case they’re used on you.

  1. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
    REPLY: No, but it hurt while I was crawling out of hell.
    .
  2. On a scale of 1- America how free are you tonight?
    REPLY: North Korea
    ALTERNATE REPLY: Donald Trump’s Presidency
    .
  3. Have you ever said ‘Fuck the Police?’ Because now’s your chance…
    *REPLY: There is no reply to this, this is 100% my favourite chat up line.*
    .
  4. Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I please borrow yours?
    REPLY: *Give them a fake phone number*
    .
  5. You must be from Tennessee! Because you are the only TEN I see!
    REPLY: Are you? Because you’re a state
    .
  6. I’m sorry, I’m an artist and it’s my job to stare at beautiful women!
    REPLY: Well thank God because you’re not allowed to touch the art
    .
  7. Hi, will you reject me if I try and pick you up?
    REPLY: Yes.
    .
  8. What’s your favorite silverware?..because I like to spoon!
    REPLY: I kinda like knives.
    .
  9. Save a horse, ride a cowboy.
    REPLY: I’ll get the bus, thanks.
    .
  10. You better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!
    REPLY: Same to you because you’re driving me away!
    .
  11. I’m addicted to yes, and I’m deathly allergic to no. So what’s it gonna be?
    REPLY: I’m gonna say a firm no.
    .
  12. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
    REPLY: You could walk past me to a person that’d work on?
    .
  13. Crap. Something is wrong with my mobile…your numbers not in it.
    REPLY: I haven’t got yours and mines doing fine so, no?
    .
  14. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.
    REPLY: I like it the way it is because N and O are together.
    .
  15. People call me *INSERT NAME*, but you can call me Tonight!
    REPLY: I’d rather call you Never.
    .
  16. Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
    REPLY: No sorry, that’s too small to be counted as a package
    .
  17. I must be in heaven because I’m looking at an angel!
    REPLY: I must be in hell because this is torture
    .
  18. Is your name Daniel? Cause DAMN!
    REPLY: Is yours? Because you’re at it again with the crap pickup lines.
    .
  19. I love you as much as Kanye loves Kanye.
    REPLY: I love you as much as the decent half of America love Trump.
    .
  20. If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask you to be your default browser, I’m brave enough to ask you out!
    REPLY: I picked Firefox.
    .
  21. Are you religious? Cause you’re the answer to all my prayers.
    REPLY: Oh, are you a Satanist?
     .
  22. Your body is 75% water, and I’m thirsty.
    REPLY: Then you’re gonna dehydrate

     .
  23. Excuse me, but I think I dropped something. MY JAW!
    REPLY: Sadly, I’ve not dropped my standards.
    .
  24. What has 36 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
    REPLY: What, it’s holding back something green with a rare disease?

     .
  25. I’ll treat you like my homework: Slam you on the table and do you all night long!
    REPLY: I’m gonna treat you like mine: walk away and ignore you.

I hope this at least made you laugh- if you use any of these or any of the replies, let me know how it goes for you.

Stay safe and stay happy, Angels ❤

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