I promised I’d post more of my thoughts, and in all honesty, it’s a good way for me to get it all out. I’ll be back to more sassy posts soon enough, but even behind my stone cold heart, there’s a sensitive soul.
I’ve dealt with some utter arseholes when it comes to men. We all know this, I don’t attract the best of the male population… That may also be partially my own fault. But I’ve been thinking, and I’ve taken advice from friends, my mum, my bosses, and I’ll be honest, other than past people being problematic and rude, it’s been a lot better and I’ve been getting less hurt. So, I thought I’d give you a long, tumblr standard paragraph of what I tell myself and what I now stand for and accept, and is the kind of love I know I PERSONALLY deserve. But then I tought, why? Why set unrealistic standards for people to meet when I can just put my realistic wisdom on the page instead. It’s all well and good being an optimist when it comes to love, but sometimes you’ve gotta be a realist.
So, I have a small list for you. This isn’t going to be a massive post about heartwarming things and ‘relationship goals’ and that crap: this is me, telling you the basics of what you deserve. Because sometimes, we’ve gotta be reminded.
- You deserve respect: if somebody you are in a relationship (friendship included) with does not respect your views, your religion, your choices, or even you in general, get out. You are a human and you deserve respect.
- You deserve to be and to feel safe. If anybody is putting you in harms way or hurting you mentally, physically or emotionally, you don’t deserve that crap. Get out as fast as you can. I know it’s hard, but you deserve better. You will be okay.
- You deserve a best friend. A person you’re in a relationship with is one of the closest people to you. They know your past, your present and will be part of shaping you and your future, whether it lasts or not. You deserve somebody who can be your best friend and your significant other; that involves a trust and a valid connection and deep affection.
- You deserve happiness. If you’re not happy, or they’re not happy, what are you doing? Go find happiness with people who will be happy WITH you or will make YOU happy. Both you and the person you’re with deserves joy. Don’t ‘settle’ for somebody because you’re afraid of being alone; first off, it’s really not the decent thing to do and you’ll hurt this person who cares about you. Secondly, are you really happy?
- You deserve to laugh: who wants to be with somebody who can’t make them laugh? This connects to the one above; if they don’t make you happy, and they don’t make you laugh, then what attracts you (other than their looks, ya little perv)?
- You deserve to be loved. Unless you are a criminal who has tore somebody/ a family apart and committed some major crime, you deserve to be loved. Past mistakes shape who you are, but they do not define you. You deserve love and you deserve to be cherished and treated like royalty AND find somebody YOU want to treat like royalty. Relationships are a two way thing.
I wish I’d ave listened to people telling me all of this earlier: it would have saved a lot of time, a lot of pain, and I wouldn’t have been SO problematic (I’d still have been problematic, but maybe not as much). I hope that this helps at least one person, just a little bit.
No, they’re not overly cute, or the kind of things people say in posts or videos like this. But, this isn’t a cutesy kind of post. This is a reminder that you’re beautiful, you’re worthy and you deserve to be loved. If you’re not happy, then you deserve to be. I’ve set myself these guidelines, and I’ll be honest, I’m the queen of single. But, I know when I stop being single, whenever that may be, I’ll have found somebody decent, and I’m not using them, I’m not just lonely. I’m in love, or at least have feelings for them.
It’s not a long post, but I promised more posts about what’s going on in my head, so here you go, as promised. Also I’ve not posted in a good few days, I’m slacking. Fun fact: I wanted to post about 3 times a week. Then A-Levels happened.
Stay safe, and stay happy, Angels ❤