I’ve been gone about 2 months now, and in all honesty, I needed that break away from blogging. From coming up with ideas, from writing in general. I needed time to think about me, and I’d not taken time off to think about myself in a long time. I’d taken time to breathe, to get inspiration, but not time to think about me.
Honestly, in this time, I considered getting rid of my blog completely. I thought about giving it up, removing myself from the community and just taking myself away. Not even for any real reason, it was just a fleeting thought. But then, it made me consider where I wanted this blog to go. What direction I wanted it to go in.
I know I’ve tried many styles. I’ve tried beauty blogging but honestly, I’m no where good enough and I drown in the competition of talented bloggers around me. I tried fashion blogging but between companies not looking for ‘plus size models and bloggers’ (I’m a 10 on top and 14 on the bottom because ya girl got hips, just so you know how ridiculous it is) and a lot of companies in the past put me off, it’s not a road I’d dedicte myself to go down. I’ve tried humour, I’ve tried music, but so few people look for posts like that, when they’re honestly the posts that take the most time and planning.
So I decided no. No, I would not put myself into a box.
Posts I plan on doing are more music based, because we all know that it’s where my passion lies. It’s where my soul sets on fire, where I have opinions, where I can talk in depth.
Will I be doing other posts? Of course. If you do the same thing every day, even when you have passion, it lessens.
But, to answer the title, where have I been? I’ve been with myself, thinking and plotting and so many lyrics have been written- a lot of which I’m going to be selling. I’ve been with my family, where I can be me with no restraint, where I feel unconditional love- I’ve especially been with my mum, who is my rock and an iconic woman who deserves more recognition. I’ve been with my boyfriend who is incredible and somehow puts up with my utter shit. I’ve been with friends: those who have stuck around, who message, who call, who go get food with me when I appear randomly. I’ve been in uni where I’m starting to find my feet and shape a possible future.
I put a post on Instagram the other day: “I’m proud of the woman I’ve become because I spent a hell of a time becoming her.” That’s something I feel deeply. I’m at a stage where I’m proud of myself. I’m proud of obstacles I’ve overcome, of people I’ve finally let go of, of the things I’ve achieved.
I’ve been many places, and those have allowed me to become me. Not ‘new and improved’ because I was fine before. But I’ve become more me.
I’ll be back soon, Angels. Promise you.
Stay safe and stay happy❤️